I never thought anything like this was possible, but oh man, was I wrong.
I had just finished getting dressed for school when the most unexpected thing happened: a hole opened up in the middle of my bedroom right below me and I fell in, only to find myself in the middle of a cafeteria that looked like its inhabitants stepped out of the Mos Eisley Cantina (funnily enough, it turns out a few of them actually did).
It was pretty terrifying/ awe-inducing when an Andalite of all things stepped forward. He introduced himself as Ilraen-Aroline-Fothergill and told me I was in a place called the Protectors of the Plot Continuum Headquarters. Normally, I'm not the kind of person who goes around fainting, but I'll admit, I kind of passed out at that point.
I woke up in what looked like a hospital (Medical) and the guy in charge, Doctor Fitzgerald, told me I'd just experienced temporal-spatial displacement nausea. It's apparently something pretty common for newcomers. After Doc made sure I wasn't experiencing any after-effects, he told me I could go home, but I asked him if there was anything I could do to stay. I mean, an actual Andalite in the cafeteria? Surely there was more stuff to see!
Doc seemed a little hesitant, but he said the PPC could always use more agents. Agents for what?
Almost anything you can think of. There are agents who kill things called Mary-Sues, agents who exorcise something called 'slash demons', agents who fix geographical mistakes, agents who separate poorly-crossed continuums- and they all serve to protect the multiverse.
That's right- THE multiverse. All those stories, movies, tv shows, and video games are all real inside their own universes, but badfic authors like to screw with the worlds, requiring PPC agents to go in and set things right.
I'll admit, I've written some fanfiction before, and while it's not the best, I did try to keep things as close to canon as possible when I was writing. Thank god, because I'd hate to be one of those people who helped ruin the continuum of Harry Potter.
Apparently the DMS (Department of Mary Sues) is always in need of more agents, so I immediately volunteered. Doc sent me to see the head of Personnel, a giant telepathic daisy named the Marquis de Sod. Honestly, I'm not weirded out by anything at this point, which is good, considering that my new boss is another telepathic plant named the Sunflower Official.
Since time flows differently in HQ, I should be able to get home at the same time I left, so I'm not worried about mom and dad freaking out over me suddenly going missing. I'm going to need some new clothes after too long, though... hmm...
Anyway, the Marquis got me set up in my current location, Response Center 3-Apple-14 (seriously, that has got to be the best RC number EVER) and gave me a 'flash patch' for the DMS. I don't know why it's a potted cactus- maybe a talking cactus was the original department head?
Tomorrow- or whatever the equivalent here is- I'm going to ask if I can have my friend Randa as my partner in Sue Slaying.
I got up this morning thinking I would have to take a math test. I'm going to sleep as a new protector of the multiverse. How cool is that?!